Night
by TheMasterOfYourFate
Summary: She didn't know if she wanted to scream, and cry, or give up and kiss him. Damon/OFC Unrequited
1. Trying

I love the night.

Most people hate it because they think it's scary. It holds, and covers secrets, doubts and worries.

That's why I love it.

A normal person hides from the dark, basking in the light, soaking up the goodness.

I hide from the light, and hide in the security of the dark. I know that no one would look for me here. They won't find all my faults; insecurities; Secrets.

It's my safe haven. No one will strip away my- -shredding but still barely intact- self-confidence. If I hide here, don't reveal anything, maybe he will love me.

Maybe he will change his mind and come back. He might come around. Tell me he loves me for once. I hope for nothing though. I must keep my hopes down to a minimum or nothing.

Expect nothing from him.

When he smirks at me, I will soak it in; because that's the most I will get for me.

It doesn't seem fair.

He gets what he wants from me, and all I get is a smirk. A half smile. A good job done. A little pat on the back; because he's satisfied. Leaving me cold inside, and pretending on the outside.

Not that he doesn't know.

He does.

Everything he does affects me, and he knows it.

Him sleeping with another girl? It rips my heart to shreds.

He comes back like nothing happened. Like my world isn't crashing in on me. If he's in a bad mood, he lets me wallow in self-pity, not even acknowledging my presence.

If he is in a good mood he makes me forget about it. Comes up to me, kisses my neck, and murmurs that I am his, and nothing can change that. Leads me upstairs and makes me forget it fully.

When that happens, I like to pretend.

Pretend that every stroke is from a lover. Every kiss is from a man that is mine.

That I am his one and only. It gets harder as time goes by. I know that I'm lying to everyone, including myself.

That's the worse. Lying to yourself hurts so much more because it impossible to fully trick yourself. I don't mind lying to his brother and his girlfriend.

I lie through my teeth to them. It doesn't hurt as much as knowing the truth. They don't believe me of course. When they walk out, I can hear barely hear them, but I can see them shake their heads at me. Looking at me with pity.

I hate them for that. Why do they get to have what I want?

Why am I so unlucky? Why did I have to fall for the one I knew wouldn't love me back? I want to know why every time I try to get up, I crash down. Ending up lower than I was before. I take a step forward and get knocked back 7.

I look down at him. He is a whole different person when he sleeps. His face is in a peaceful setting and there is no conflict showing. He looks happy in this dream like state. I ponder about what he could be dreaming about.

I don't dare to try to probe his mind because he would feel my presence and wake up, but I'm content just like this, so all I have is guesses.

I have a very good guess though. It hurts to think that, but it's true. He's probably thinking of her again. He turns around, he was now facing me. His face displays true joy.

Terror floods through my veins .There was only two reasons he would be like this. He might have not been asleep and has been listening to me this whole time. It doesn't look like it though. He looks like he's asleep. But I've been wrong before.

I take a chance and trust that he is asleep.

The other reason he would be like that is if he was thinking about her. My stomach churns. I feel queasy all of sudden. Choking down the bile that seems like it was forcing itself up my throat; I wrap myself up in the enormous comforter.

I look at him for the last time. I turn on my side to face away from him. Cringing into the blankets as he moved around again, in his sleep, and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I tensed but as his arms tightened around me, I relax. I felt safe in his embrace even though he wasn't conscious at the moment. When I think about it I have always felt safe in his arms.  
He sighs, and shifts. He pulls me on him. I am now on his chest, his head resting on mine. He sighs and mumbles something.

I freeze, hoping I didn't hear that. He mumbles it again and my heart plummets to the bottom of my soles.

I feel like weeping. My brain is malfunctioning, and I know it is, because I can't control what I do next. My grief has taken over me; something is directing me out of his arms and to the dresser.

I pack my clothes in a pile in my backpack, and then suddenly I get my senses back. I'm frozen waiting for him to get up and stop me. He doesn't. I don't think he even knows I'm gone.

I hold back a sob then dress. Shirt first, then jeans. Then, I sling my bag over my shoulder. I walk to his door and open it with the intention of not looking back.

I give in.

Instead of the position I left him in, he was sitting up, his face impassive. He didn't seem in the least concerned that I was leaving.

My heart clenched and I turned to leave. But I couldn't...not yet at least. Looking back on that moment , I've never seen him look so confused .

I says only one thing.

"Goodbye, Damon."


	2. Defenseless

Disclaimer: I don't own this series. If I did, Damon would be doing more deliciously sinful acts in the book.

XXXX

I am bored.

Very, very bored. There isn't anything to do at Elena's house, since Stefan was there (Unless you count watching the couple make goo-goo eyes at each other fun) so I locked myself in the bathroom and counted the tiles on the floor. Then started the song that never ends in my head.

Sighing, I tried not to think about my recent departure from...his house. I didn't dare think his name because it hurt to even think about. I catch myself thinking about him more and more as the week goes by and I am surprised that I have even made a week without him. Amazed that it has even been a week. It has gone by so quick to me.

I thought I would be OK about me leaving. That I would feel even better than I did when I was around him. But I feel numb without him.

I remember the way his touch made me warm. How his embrace made me feel alive. When he kissed me, I felt like I could do tackle anything in the world and succeed, I could fly if I wanted to. Only if he was here. Maybe I would be able to feel anything other than numbness and the sharpness of the pain on the edges. When I did feel something all I felt was the misery of it all.

I see flashes of his face. Impassive, uncaring.

I hold back the sob that was building in my throat. My emotions were coming back in a flood. Flashes of him and me together. Some of the happy times, real loving times.

I can hear him whisper, he loves me, but then he says he loves Katherine and my heart clenches.

I laugh at the irony. How could he love someone, who wasn't even there for him, while I was? Although, I could say the same thing about myself. How do I love someone who didn't love me back? Boy, did I have a sick sense of love.

I hear a knock at the door and Elena tells me I have a visitor. Her tone is guarded and I wrinkle my brow. Who would want to visit me in the bathroom? I know, I probably shouldn't be holding up the bathroom but, I really could care less at the moment.

I pause by the door, but I open it anyway. Guess who it is.

Damon.

By the time my brain registers his presence, he was a blur. Even though I had vampire senses, I didn't see him come in and shut the door behind him.

I did however, hear the slam of the door and the click of the lock, I could hear Elena outside of the door huff and walk down the stairs muttering something about "those two stubborn fools"

Then silence.

I was stunned. I could hear him breathing heavily and he had a smirk on his face but I could see the underlining anger and some unidentified emotion in eyes. I didn't ponder on it, I'd rather not even think about him, but with him being here and all, I don't think I have a choice.

"You have one thing right, for once." His breaths out, commenting on my thoughts. He straightens himself up then, and glares at me, his eyes connecting with mine.

My mind literally goes blank with that look. It was intense, and it reminds me of when I first met him.

"Now onto the real reason that I'm here. Who the hell said you could leave." He says quickly, not really looking like himself. He doesn't look relaxed as he usually is; like he has all the answers. I find myself liking this side of Damon. Maybe it was his vulnerable side. If he even had one.

But I flare up at his words. Who the hell does he think he is? He doesn't own me.

"You do not own me, Damon." Hate was dripping from my tone and I look at through narrowed eyes. I try to force him out with my mind, but all I get from that is an amused smirk.

"I'm not going anywhere, darling. Well, not until we discuss you're leaving without permission-"

I cut him off " What, now I need your permission to leave."

"Yes" He tries to feint offense, but his eyes revealed he wasn't. Glaring, I march up to him.

When I was only a couple inches away, I regretted the decision. I could feel the wave of comfort I got when I was close to him. I was close to just giving in and apologizing to him and then beg him to let me come back.

Almost. I had something to do though. I needed to explain to him that I am not his little toy he could mess with.

"Ahh, but that's where your wrong, you are mine. Like I said before, you are mine and no one else's."As he spoke he inched toward me and I backed up in response.

I regretted my decision to even say anything at that moment. I tried to make myself look brave even though I was the one backing away from him. I couldn't think of anything to say, I was too panicked to think of a snappy come back.

I could feel my hands shaking, and I was confused as to why I was scared.

"I am not scared of you" I tried, going for the stubborn and fearless act. I was good at that. Damon laughed then sending chills down my spine.

"Stubborn? Yes. Fearless? Not really."

He grinned at me and kept walking. I made a move to back away. Until, there was no room to go back anymore. I flattened myself against the wall. He had me...well...cornered for lack of a better word.

Damon grinned lazily down at me and I'm sure if I had a heart beat it would have skyrocketed. He then commenced to lean down towards me.

I froze. I was sure that he was going to kiss me. I started shaking like a leaf, and I leaned my head down. I tried to show interest in my shoes then. His lips brushed my ear and I felt an electrical shock go through my body. I tried not to show it but I'm sure he saw. His little snicker told me he did. He brought his face back from mine.

"I'm glad I still have an effect at you, even after all that time"

He was being sarcastic this time, I was sure of it. His proximity was wracking my nerves now, sending chill through my bones.

"A week?"

I give giving him a questioning look.

"You think you have an effect on me?"

He ignored my question and went on. Putting each hand on either side of me, he was now leaning over me, a good 7 inches taller. I shrank back and he looked smug.

"I don't have an effect on you?"

His face was doubtful and I gave him a look of indignation.

"NO" I said a little too loudly. He then flattened himself against me. I could feel every curve of his muscular body. All my nerves were standing on end now. I arched my body, and was pleased to discover that we still fit together like a puzzle piece. Every curve of mine had plunged right into his muscles. It fit perfectly. Which sucked.

I could feel him kissing my neck, sending little shocks up and down my body.

I could feel him bite down, hard on my neck but all I felt was a prick of pain. I was in pure bliss now. I could feel the walls of his mind loosening up and then all his thoughts were showered on me.

I didn't think or respond to any of them, just watched them pass by in amusement. I was in paradise because this was all I ever wanted even if I was being used. At the moment I didn't care. I just wanted to live in this second this minute, this hour. I don't remember when it started to get blurry but I do remember feeling really exhausted and knowing I was in someone's arms.

Before I passed out, I felt a cold peck on my head and then the rush of wind. This is when I faded into the black.


	3. Bittersweet Taste Of Love

Authors Note: Forgive me if I made any mistakes. I went over this HUNDREDS! of times to check the spelling and grammar. So until my beta goes over it, I guess it'll be this way. Forgive me! Oh and sorry if I made you guys what so long.I have decided what way I'm going to take this! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.

~Vincent Van Gogh

Love

It was a celebrated emotion, was it not? Others bathed in this emotion like it was the sun. Then others shied away from the emotion, but even then they have dream about it. Hoping and fantasizing about the day, when they would find their significant other, and then it would be happily ever after.

Innocent visions. You always had dreamt of that. You wanted a loving family that would take care of you when you were sick. Or when you had fallen down to pick you back up and dust you off. Tell you to keep your head held high and keep walking

One

Step

At

A

Time

Even when the path is rocky, and unstable. Keep walking, because good times are going to be coming, and they will find you.

You just had to trust yourself, and others, and when bad times come along, trust that you will get out of the situation.

That philosophy had worked the first few times around...but what about now?

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Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.

~Sigmund Freud

The next thing I could sense was darkness. Nothing else. I couldn't feel anything. My body was numb like I hadn't used it in a long time and it was trying to reboot itself.

I had no sense of time. So I don't know how long it's been since I was last not like this. I couldn't see anything or maybe my eyes were just closed.

They wouldn't open. Trying not to jump to conclusions(Conclusions was such a weird word. Con-clue-shuns) I calmed myself down to try to see what was happening. It was hard though because I was numb and couldn't feel anything.

It was absolutely terrifying to not be overflown with emotions. Just to be blank and have nothing,absolutely nothing to be anchored to. But then something else was wrong.

Have you ever had a feeling that something was really, really wrong but you just didn't know what was wrong. Like you could sense that something terrible was happening somewhere but you … couldn't grasp **what **was wrong. And you know that. That you had known what was wrong, but your brain was to scrambled to make out an answer, and you were too tired to go searching for one,scared as hell that all you would get in return was more questions. It was like you knew the answer, and it was on the tip of your tongue,but it would not come out. It was torture. For me not knowing was usually a blessing and I have never volunteered to know exactly what was going on. It was one of my defense mechanisms. To block anything and everything from ever getting to me. Because if I don't know what was going on, how was I supposed to put any of my time/effort and emotions into it. And by shutting down and drawing into myself, that was the only way I could deal with things I couldn't usually deal with.

But I knew something was was wrong. Something in the pit of my stomach was making me aware of that and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

But I was scared. I obviously couldn't deal with whatever was wrong,because I felt numb and maybe a little tense. Like I knew once I was out of whatever this state was, I would have to deal with a flood of emotions.

That's how my brain felt at the moment. It was like trudging through a really thick substance,like mud or molasses,and I kept getting stuck a certain thoughts. I couldn't make out what happened next, and I don't know what had happened before this. I could feel myself sinking back into the darkness and there was a flash of light and I'm gone.

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Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again. ~Rosa Parks

His gaze had always been piercing. I can feel his gaze a mile away, and right now I can feel his presence in the room. It was lingering on me now and _NO! NO! NO!_ I didn't **want** this anymore. His touch,his_sick_ touch, oh, how it was sick. I didn't want to be touched anymore, I didn't want him to make 'his _**beautiful happy**_' by touching me in my _private places._ When that happened I knew I've done something**horrible**. Given a snappy reply. Or looked at him wrong. Maybe replied to slow to his question-but how slow is to slow?- or maybe I didn't a reply at all?

Then he's breathing down my neck and I curse at myself for not realizing he was approaching and **damn** him and his silent feet! Now his hands were _caressing_ my back through the cloth and why! Why did it react to his touch! Why did my body _**arch**_ and _**tingle**_ from his hands.

God his hands were blessed! And wonder of wonders, how could I ever feel love for this man?

And I know his love really isn't, and my own? Well, it must be Stockholm descending, because I really didn't love him..did I? Funny how I call it Stockholm,when others never realize it's the disease.

I tense, because he-no **it**, because _it_ didn't deserve such a title- was back and I knew what it wanted this time. Last time I was lucky and didn't get a punishment. I had escaped his burning touch and the sick _pleasure_ I-my body received when he did punish me. Why,I asked myself,did my body _betray me_ like this. Why did my body **crave** his touch when he was around?

But it was **simple**, my mind and body were two separate things and even if I did keep building up those walls he will just keep coming back again and again. Just to see my wall _crumble_ right back down.

And who was I to stop him?

CRUMBLNG

DOWN

FALLING

F.O.R.E.V.E.R

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Authors Note:

I Do Not Own The Quotes Above! I do own the plot and ummmmm the character...

Anyways hoped you enjoyed the story! If you have any objections,email me!

READ & REVIEW


	4. Photography

Title:**Night**  
Author: Clumsylittlegirl  
Language: English

Rating: T  
Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Authors Note: Yeah, I know I haven't made a chapter for this in forevvverrr! But I apologize and I give you this for my sorry present. Do you accept it?This chapter may be a little different form the other ones but its because its diving into an area of her life that isn't surrounded with Damon. Basically he had engulfed her life. And I'm trying to have more dialogue and still have the same amount of detail. BUT, alas I will not give up any other details. I wanna keep it under wraps. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.

_Crimson blood flowing freely,_

_Ragged and torn head in hand,_

_the ending comes by force._

_Slowly but surely,_

_the life drains,_

_leaving a soulless body._

_No one understands the beauty._

_As I use their blood to paint a mural,_

_It's thrilling to have a work done._

_Piece by piece I dispose of the corpse properly._

_It goes undiscovered._

_When I leave them, limbs covered by dirt,_

_a part of me leaves with them._

_Vanishing in the wind._

_I think this my my creativity_

_This simple trait of mine._

**I**

The bell rang, and at that students around me started babbling incoherently. Talking of their plans, to hang out with one another. Their voices were only white noise to me though. Hissing around me, not taking any shape, but slipping, and sliding, by me.

Things were like that now. Incoherent, muffled, stifled. Everything was taking a backseat, fading into the background. Things that usually had me going, things that would usually get me out of a bad mood, weren't working anymore. This class, one of my most difficult, yes, but usually the most pleasing, had failed in getting me out of my bubble. I tried not to get feel that acidic burn when I realized that. That feeling of complete, and utter failure.

I hadn't been listening to the class. At all. I tried, a little frantically, to remember some of the class, anything of it, really. But I couldn't. I remembered daydreaming, in and out, about His eyes, His velvety smooth skin, and..I was doing it again. I shook my ahead, frustrated. I had missed a whole hour and a half of lecture. And more importantly, I had no idea what the homework was.  
A group who was sitting in front of me, started packing up their things. They were talking of their plans, to hang out with one another. I scowled, having no such plans. Since I had started college, I had no time to hang out with friends. I had totally isolated myself since the incident, and hadn't been talking to many of my friends recently. But they would manage. I mean, they had classes too, so they probably didn't have any time either. But, all of their calls, texts, emails, and pages weren't very promising. Though, they would have to give up soon. I hoped.

A blond walked past my table. There was a boy by her side, with an arm draped over her. She looked down when she passed, down at me. She had a slight accusing look in her glance. I sat straight in my seat, and looked right back. She quickly looked away, her cheeks dusting a pinkish color, when she didn't get the reaction she wanted. I had gathered that she probably thought I would look abashed, maybe ashamed that I was caught listening in on their conversation. Of course I didn't. I hadn't blushed, and I probably shocked her.

I gave the couple, another glance. (Obviously a couple, if the guy draping his arm over her was a sign of something, and I think it was.) They were obviously very social, having tons of friends, talking to tons of people. Something I have never been, even before I met Him. I only had a limited number of friends, and my stunt that I've been pulling, ignoring their calls, and such, obviously hadn't gained me any new ones.

I had given up trying to be social, because it was getting to hard to. If you ever been in college, you know this. You have three things to manage: Schoolwork, sleep, and your social network. You could only choose two, because it was utterly impossible to juggle all three. I, of course, had chosen the first two, effectively deleting the social reliability off of my list.

My classmates, most likely, had chosen the latter two. And I didn't even take into account how my social life would fail. One failed relationship after another has left me with the other two. Not that I really cared. My encounter with him has left me a little numb when I talk to others. I don't thrive on communication like I did when I was in high school. I thrive on solitude now. Thinking, and trying to understand life.

As I wandered away from the class, I tripped, on my two feet. I cursed my equilibrium, balance was never a talent of mine. A tan hand appeared in my line of sight, and when I looked up there was a boy. And when my eyes met his, I gasped.

It was that boy, the one that had his arm draped around his girlfriend. He smiled down at me, a small, soft tug of his lips.

And I felt again for the first time in a long time.

**II  
**

"Move a little to the right, Okay?"

Click

"Are you done? I'm getting tired of staying like this."

Click

And looked up to watch my brother squirm under my gaze. I glared at him with a withering glance.

"No! I'm not even close to being done. Now stay still. And move to the left. I want to get more of you in this. Stay still. And put your arms back down. Move your hand to your left cheek? No, try your right one. Yes! That's it. Stop squirming! I need you completely still."

He looked up and squinted from his position.

"I still don't understand why you need me. Why couldn't you use someone else?" He whined , tilting his head to the side, messing up his pose.

"Move your head back!" I took another picture. His eyes came out greenish looking in this one. "I can't use anyone else because this part of the assignment I have to photograph my relative. You fit that criteria. Do you see anyone else related to me, Einstein?"

He sighed, aggravated and muttered "I don't even think I'm related to you sometimes."

I kicked him, and he yelped, glaring at me, rubbing his pint sized leg.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Thats what I thought." I smiled, taking one last picture.

I look through the pictures on the camera I had already taken. I decided that I was satisfied with them. And waved him off the stool.

I didn't have to say a word. He jumped off the stool, and ran toward the other side of the park.

I yelled after him. "Elliot! Don't go any farther than the park, OK?" He looked like he didn't take kindly to me yelling after him and stopped, looking back.

He waved in consent. His blue eyes were sparkling, and when he turned to run to the swings, his short blond hair was getting rustled in the breeze.

Watching my younger brother for the day and getting some of my assignment done. It's a win-win.

**III**

My major was photography. I had a talent, some would say. A gift in that area and I had decided that I would play upon my strength, taking pictures professionally instead of aiming to major in another field. My parents, had, and still disagree vehemently with my decision.

This showed when I dropped Elliot off.

"Honey! How have you been?" She kissed Elliot on his head messily and he wiped at his head looking disgusted, walking to his room. I hadn't realized that he had hit that stage. The one that you started thinking that parents were icky, and kisses and hugs were gross. I mean, he hadn't acted that way when I gave him a hug. I hadn't seen him that much, I had to admit. But I missed this? I immediately started feeling bad. Had I missed that much out of his life?

My mom greeted me semi-warmly at the door. I wasn't surprised though. She always put a fake act on when she was around Elliot. Around everyone really. It was always fake, and sometimes I didn't know when she was being sincere.

She was fake. Plastic, like a barbie doll. You know how, if you put a barbie in water, it's hair gets all frizzy, and it clothing gets all wrinkly and faded. But if you do it so many times the paint fades, revealing what it truly is, and how it really isn't perfect. Just plastic.

I kind of wanted to do that to my mom.

"Hey, mom"

"Hi, dear." She smiles at me, the picture of warmth, but her eyes betray her. Her eyes weren't warm, they showed the emotion her mouth really wanted to convey. They were narrowed and angry.

"How has college been treating you?"

"Good."

"Really? And how about your...job?" She asked, trying to appear sly. didn't have a job, and she knew this. I was a freelancer, before I met him, but then, I just didn't have the time... I was looking though, and that was a start.

"Fine. Same old, same old."

"Oh." She sounded disappointed but she didn't look it.

"So, it was nice seeing you." I tried to rush out, I didn't want to spend any time with her, but she caught my arm.

"Have you decided anything, yet? You know your father has an opening for an intern at the hospital. He could keep it open for you?" She looked hopeful.

I snatched my arm away, and tried not to scowl at her.

"No. I haven't. Now can I go?"

Her lips tightened, like she didn't expect this and she nodded tightly.

And I stalked out of the house.

**III**


End file.
